The Butterfly Cycle


A larva growing rapidly,
A butterfly to become
Flying free, propelling air.
Those fair, innocent wings that I shall soon wear
When I am to be wed to the moonlight, the honey
And the nectar of the flowers.
A dream so fragile, I must not err.

I hid it.
I hid it all.
My growth is hampered by fear
Unleashing those wings would disturb my man,
Here he rests; obsessing over video games
And humans’ lifespans.
I must always shrink for him to tolerate
My wisp of hair—and the mediocre life
Inside the cracked pictures’ frames.

Love is a season in between,
It will eat you up, even if you didn’t
Allow its rainy gales to be seen.
Honey, haven’t you yet learned that only the rain
Will render the plants with intense green?

I have suffered the cruelty of his changing moods
Flat and hidden,
I cannot move without dislodging the weight of a decade
Of a love-forbidden,
Of a man who lived and died
In me—lonely, unreal and forgiven.

I falter,
A lonely butterfly facing gusts.
It hurts to become,
But when the air pushes under those wings,
May there be nothing left but a handful of dust.

Now I could only fancy the thought of him:
Running through the roads,
Escaping the weights of reality, foolishly happy, not
Including me.

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وِلد كبقية الأطفال؛
لم تشرق الشمس من مغربها حين وِلد و لا اهتزت الجبال
خرج لهذه الحياة من رِحم صحراء قاحلة
—لا نبات فيها و لا ماء
صحراءً عِشقت السراب و شِربت الموتَ اقداحًا حتى الإغماء
وِلد كبقية الأطفال؛
ورِثَ جسدًا يسجن روحه و ملامح أموات
أخُتير له اسم و هوية و كُبل ببضع أغلال
غلًا التف حول رقبته ليخنقه
و غلًا حول يديه يجتره أينما ذهب

وِلد كبقية الأطفال؛
رتلوا في اذنه اليمنى الأذان
و صبوا فوقه الماء ليتوب
رغم أنه بعدًا لم يذنب
وِلد— كبقية السجناء؛
خُدر وريده و خُيطَ فِمه و صُمت اذنيه
!—قتلهُ الجبناء
و هو بعدًا لم يكن

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The Seventh Room

Mary Magdalene in the Cave

‘The ending is water’
Whispered a crow
As I step slow—Out, out of the asylum
My body, which isn’t mine, dragged all way
Needles falling on the grey floor,
Some I took off—
Others were inserted for too long
Hideous as a monster,
The survivor of the one thousand years bloodshed
Finally managed an escape, with a book and papers’ shreds
At the end of the aisle of patients’ beds,
I know there is a staircase leading to an exit
I ran downward.

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امرأة الكُثبان


في ارضي، لن ترى إلا الفحم و الكُثبان
لا بداية، لها، و لا نهاية
رملا فوق رمل و آلهة من الحجر و غِربان
في أرضي، ستسمع فقط عن جنات عدن و شقائق النعمان
هنا، حيث اللازمان و اللامكان
هنا، حيث عَبدتٌ الحَجر

وحيدةً تمامًا في الفلك
فلا سماء زرقاء و لا قمر
ارضي، هذه التي اكتسح السواد رملها
و جفت نسائها و لقت حتفها
ارضُ الرماد و الفحم
ارضًا ملئتها الذكور أمُم
،ارضُ الصدأ و الموتى
أموطنًا انتِ أم منفى؟

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a dream

حلمت بالأمس بأن الامنية قد ماتت
و بأن الاغنية قد عاشت

حلمت بالامس بأن هذهِ الحياة كانت تسقط من اعلى كالمُذنب

مني تقترب و بكَ تحترق

حلمت بغياب الامس
و بطلوع الشمس

حلمت بالسماء و بسكون المطر
حلمت بك… و كنت انت السفر

كنت انت.. و كنت انا
و خلفنا القمر

من اي انتظار قد جئت؟

خشيت ان استيقظ قبل أن اعرفك
خشيت ان تغيب و ان افقدك
!خشيت الحلم
و بإن إستيقاظي سيهجُرك


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A Man on a Cliff


I am a blocked volcanic crater
I burn my own skin
Going dry, going slim
Going all the way to him
I am the waiting siren
At the end of your swim.

I am the stone that kept you
On a cliff
You’d think you’d fall from a breeze,
Or a passing whiff—
But darling, not even a firestorm
Could unleash your tethered feet.

Suffocated in vain—
I prayed for the droplets of your rain
To slowly dissipate my heat
And cover me in mist
And all the feelings I missed.

The man of charcoal and ashes,
Still hanging on a cliff
Blind, deaf, and stiff.

Darling, the lavas are stepping closer
To burning you,
Burning me.


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Via Dolorosa

Via DolorosaAngels or demons
Demons, must it be
Had a place in my head
They build it;
Stone by stone
To atone—they said.
Far behind the prayers and the olive trees
Hidden in burdens and tears.
The House of the Madness they called it.

I look upon its hideous wall: a mural for the sick
Not a foothold.
Not a prayer.
Voices I hear, crumbles at the wall
(Silence the mad, only then you will be glad—
Climb the path of sorrows by morrow)

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A Faithful Worshipper

A Faithful Worshipper - Pygmilaon

Among the men in white I walked
Seven and hundreds of times I walked.
First, I crawled;
Then, I marched
And at last, I dead-walked;
A humming corpse driven by the crowds
Around the black house of the men in white.

Cracked feet, skin dry
Bleeding feet, bleeding eyes—
Eyes of the whites studied me
For I must be among the black maids;
I must walk as they walk.
Sing, songs of the dead whites,
As they sing
I must follow.

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